Ross: Why do we still bother with potty training?

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I spent part of the holidays babysitting or helping with the potty training of two granddaughters, and I was trying to imagine what this ordeal must have been like for them – when for some reason Simon and Garfunkel started going through my head…

Hello Potty my old friend…
They made me sit on you again.
Because my parents who are very wise
Both insist that I must be civilized
So I sit here, as they eagerly watch
For me to pee.
But listen to the Sound of Silence.

Anyway, at some point last week I found myself using the cloth diapers to clean up an accident on the carpet.

And that’s when it hit me: wouldn’t it be easier if the diaper stayed on the child?

Because what are we really doing when we’re potty training? We set up this expectation that you won’t need a diaper because there will always be a decent place to relieve yourself within walking distance.

But it is a LIE!

We train the kids to keep it for the bathroom, but what we don’t tell them is that for the rest of their lives they’ll be at the mercy of America’s aversion to public restrooms. decent.

All public restrooms are a disaster. And to use a private toilet, you usually have to buy something or get the door code, which is like saying to a stranger, “Mom, I have to go.”

Then there are your school toilets, which are sound stages for TikTok. And the airplane toilet, which is basically a standing coffin – where you almost have to step back.

So why do we keep bothering with potty training?

Just upgrade the layers.

Adding this to my list of projects for our tech geniuses. Instead of inventing the metaverse, how about inventing odorless and self-composting storage pants?

So that we can finally walk where we want without ever having to approach a terrifying bathroom.

I know it’s a big ask, but when I see those poor kids trying to hold on to their diapers, I think there’s a reason. I think they know exactly what awaits them.

Which brings me to the other song that started spinning in my head while we were doing this…

“Let him go, let him go – I can’t hold him…”

It’s the spirit, children!

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